Relax. Breath. Close your eyes and remember back to the first time you stood in front of a crowd, the first time you sat behind a driver's wheel, your first kiss, signing on the dotted line to your first house. What was happening in your body? Palms sweating...stomach in knots...dry mouth...heart racing? How were you feeling? Excited.....fearful.....nervous.....or alive?

Isn't it true that when we step out of the box that defines us and into the unknown where the outcome is left to your imagination, you tend to feel more alive? More like your true self? And you think to yourself, "what was I so afraid of? I made it seem so much more scarier thatn it actually is." 

 Usually the box we are living in consists of values, beliefs, assumptions and limitations that we grew up with and we haven't given ourselves permission to question their relevance in our lives as an adult. We tend to move through life reacting to our circumstances: "Why does everything happen to me? Why do I have to do everything myself? I have no time! I'm too tired!" instead of responding to the truth that lies within us: "I'm important! I have the power in me to do this! I'm in control of how I respond to the world around me!" Life has become a habit for a lot of us. We keep going like the energize bunny without taking the time to sit back and reflect on who we are and if we are happy with that.

One can make life so hectic that there is no time to take a break and care for oneself. Others are fearful of what they may find in the stillness: fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough. They are thoughts we tell ourselves to keep us in a false sense of security. Pay attention to the running dialogue that goes 24/7 in your head. When a self-sabotaging thought comes into your head, gently dismiss it and replace it with a gentler thought. Choose to think differently and you will find that you respond differently.

The rest of your life starts right now in this moment. The choice to choose something different for yourself can happen right now. Make no excuses. Set no limitations on yourself. " I am willing to learn to think and respond differently." It takes a willing heart for change to take place.

You know how sometimes we get an idea in our head and no matter what, we can't let it go? Well, I've had such an idea that planted roots in my mind for the past 3 years and until a week ago, I thought that this idea was ready to sprout. Not to be......

There is a wellness center in town that I was fortunate enough to be a part of 3 years ago; I rented the kitchen out for a full year. During this time, I made a strong heart connection with one of the owners, I learnt to cater to small and large groups and I observed the owners motivations in their decision making process. I also saw the seperation between the partners and the lack of continuity and working together between the program delivery and facilitators first hand. Through this breakdown, I envisioned a plan that could bring everyone together and I saw myself in a role that would utilize my skills and abilities. I've shared this vision with the owner but their two seperate roads divided the partnership and it soon dissolved; the business closed. I again approached the one owner, who also owned the building, with a plan that we both agreed would bring the center into a vision that would truly serve the community and those who worked within it. But an obstacle came my way; she decided that she wanted to sell the building. The upside was that she was also willing to rent out the space until it sold so that I could start my vision. I struggled with that choice. Where would I be if the building sold? And how would this vision live on? After much discussion and looking at this scenario with a different pair of lens, I have let these fears go as I don't know what the future holds but I do have clarity that I am meant to move forward and start my business in this well set-up building.

So I asked her if I could change the name signs and paint the walls. She didn't agree and for the second time, I felt challenged by that decision. We sat down and I listened to her reasoning, which came from her heart, and I realized once more that I had to let go of what I thought the outcome should like. I've had this vision in my mind for so long that it was hard to change it. I wasn't working with "what was" instead, I was "wanting what could be". She wanted me to succeed and was giving me this optimal space to start with at a reasonable price. The space wasn't mine to change but it was offered to me to use. My vision was able to come to fruition; the packaging would just looked different. I am letting go of my attachment of how I think my business should look and instead, am focusing on how my business should feel.  It isn't about the building; it's about me showing up and being 'real' with those that are willing to share this journey of life with me.

What are you unwilling to let go off? Why? Look inside because that's where the answer lies. Trust that all will work out as it is meant to when you let go of the control.

By the way, I'm stepping up to the plate and am opening up shop. Open house is in a couple of weeks. I am soooo excited!

This is the perfect weekend to talk about the subject of appreciation as it is Thanksgiving, a time of reflection on what we are truly thankful for.

A friend of mine, we'll call her Sara, asked me if I liked sushi and I said that it was my newest tastebud crave. She then asked if I would join her on her birthday for sushi. Where good food is found, so am I so I said yes. As we were stitting enjoying our appetizer, she shared that normally she would be going out with a childhood friend whose birthday fell on the same date and that their love of sushi became a birthday tradition. I asked her why I was there in place of her friend and she said, "Because she has 2 jobs, a man and a child in her life."  And? What does that have to do with celebrating a birthday? She gave me the same answer. I thought, I have a job, an up and coming business, a man and 3 kids at home and I'm out for dinner. Sara then proceeded to tell me that hanging out with me has been helping her redefine her assumptions of what it means to be a woman who is in charge of her life and a mother with responsibilities. Her role models in her life tend to put everyone else's wants and needs before their own and I demonstrate that I can have the best of both, time for me and time for my family and obligations.

I strive for balance in my life. And what that looks like is time for everyone and everything that I deem important and of value to me. That includes me and I do put myself at the top of the list. It wasn't always like that. When I didn't view myself as important or worthy of love, then I put everyone's needs above my own and not only did I suffer but those that loved me did as well. When I am doing something for my husband out of obligation, guilt or shame, he feels it in my posture and he in turn internalizes it and feels guilty for taking and enjoying what I am doing. But when I do something because I truly want to please that person, my energy rises, my resistance is down to receiving their love and I feel whole and blessed.

My energy feels bright most days because I pay attention to how I am loving myself. Am I thinking high quality thoughts? Am I enjoying what I am doing in the present moment?

Have I let go of old hurts that keep me from opening up in an honest way, or am I letting pains of the past keep me from showing my vulnerabilty which builds intimacy in the relationship? Am I facing my fears to live life on my own terms?

By me participating fully in my own life, it gives my daughter permission to fully embrace the woman I know she is capable of becoming. The more I fully give to myself, the more my husband feels the effect when I am with him, and it really comes out in our romantic life as the defences and insecurities have not followed us into the room. When I feel alive and so thankful for what I have and who I am becoming, how can those around me not feel the outcome and gain from the benefits? The more I am fully present with myself, the more I can be fully present with those I share my life with. And that, I am truly thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I thought you would enjoy this metaphor by Dr. Anthony.

This man gets up every morning, takes his shower, shaves, eats
breakfast and climbs down the stairs and boards the bus for a 45
minute ride.  He steps off the bus and feels the beach under his
feet.

He walks the beach up and down every day all day long looking for
the Statue of Liberty.  Low and behold there is no Statue of
Liberty. 

As night falls, he stretches and looks out over the water to see
the Santa Monica pier and turns and spins around to see the
"Hollywood" sign.  He boards the bus disappointed again because he
did not find the Statue of Liberty. He has been doing this for
years. Every day he does the same thing.

Once again he goes to the Santa Monica pier, much more disappointed
than the day before, sits in his chair crying tears of sadness,
dismay, frustration. Finally a woman walks up to him and
asks him why he is so distraught.  The man tells her every day he
comes to the Santa Monica pier to see the Statue of Liberty, but he
can never find it. The woman says to him, "No wonder you cannot
find it. You are in the wrong State."

The lesson here is even if you are a well-meaning person, if you
are in the wrong STATE OF MIND - you will not find what you are
looking for. You must be in the right STATE to achieve anything in
life.

Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation
that you are making progress - IF YOU LOOK FOR IT!  No matter how
large or small, please acknowledge it!.

Why is it so much easier for us to get outside, become more physical and much more awake than when we are experiencing colder weather? When the snow is here, we sit bundled up on the couch, remote in hand, not wanting to be disturbed, complaining about the cold. Even when the sun is shining down on us, we still tend to hibernate. Myself, it's warm so I am motivated to walking most evenings, eating less and a lot lighter and staying up later; I feel energized to do something out of the ordinary. But in the winter, I don't have much motivation to leave the house once I get home from work. I know our bodies self-regulate especially during the change of seasons but I'm still thinking there are other reasons. Is it about our attitude? Today, while I was driving home from work, I was paying attention to the trees lining the street, the light posts peeking out and I felt a sense of calm, as if Mother Nature was wrapping me up in all her greenery. My eye travelled down the line of trees to the horizon and caught site of the mountain, and to be perfectly honest, I can't recall really paying attention to the site at the end of the trees. It was so beautiful. And I took it for granted, not paying much attention to it.  How much more in my life do I take for granted? What am I missing by staying in my comfort zone? How much comfort am I willing to hang onto at the expense of living my life to the fullest? Sometimes, wearing my fleece to stay nice and cozy is relaxing and just what the doctor ordered but what percentage of the time am I wearing those clothes because I'm feeling a little to comfortable to step out and try something new on? No matter the season, life waits for us to dress up and invite itself in to our lives to dance, play, explore, discover! We only need to show up with an open attitude and a willingness to perceive life through a different set of lens.

Take a close look at your surroundings, and acknowledge it. Breath in the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine!

Take care,

Marla

P.S. I received an interesting email with a metaphor that relates to this....read on.